10. Don’t write down your core values
Employees can make their own interpretations about what’s important in your organization. And once they’ve figured it out, they can act on their assumptions.
9. Don’t be intentional about your culture
Let it grow and flourish organically. Who knows what will happen? And who cares, really? Culture – that special sauce of attributes, behaviors and customs – doesn’t impact the bottom line…right?
8. Don’t create a competency model
Who needs to document a set of skills, behaviors and attributes? By laying out the expectations of every employee at every level and creating a framework for dialogue throughout the performance management cycle, you’re making things too clear. Keep them vague enough for prolonged lawsuits.
7. Don’t have a compensation strategy.
You know who should decide comp numbers? Individual hiring managers.
6. Avoid bonuses.
There should be no structure that lets people understand where they fall in relation to others and how their performance measures up against company-wide expectations. Just pay them whatever you pay them and hope that they eventually soak up legal fees in a nice lawsuit.
5. Just say no to internal communication.
If you hold on to information and keep it restricted to a core group, then you will not need to worry that employees feel trusted. And if they don’t feel respected and trusted, then maybe they will sue you.
4. Create an “us vs. them” community.
If employees feel excluded, dominated, or bullied, then perhaps, when you fire them, they’ll sue you!
3. Terminate in a way that makes employees feel a little less human.
You can deliver the news, along with a severance package, in a nice way. You can deliver it in a not nice way. You can not deliver it at all and see what happens then. Or have someone who disagrees with the decision deliver it.
2. Skip compliance and sexual harassment education.
The employees can probably figure it out on their own. Or maybe not.
1. Whatever you do, do NOT train your managers how to manage.
Obviously, they already know!